Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Job Misplacement = Anxiety

When I first misplaced my job, I was secretly thrilled. At least during those moments when I could put aside the fear of dying homeless in my later years and sleeping under a freeway. I was thrilled because I so looked forward to sitting on my sofa for long, undisturbed stretches of time.

But now that I am actually here there is a small problem.

I might become part of the sofa. I might one day be unable to get up. Being unemployed means no structure to the day. No structure means stretching into endlessness. Unfortunately, this makes me feel like I might be dying. Now I am not in any kind of clinical state, so I don’t actually THINK I am dying. But a nameless dread starts to fill my being. I might just sit here on the sofa forever.

As a result, I am inventing myself the job of being unemployed. As in, sophisticated decision-making processes around how many pieces of toast to have. As in, deadlines for when I will exercise, when I will pay my bills. Arbitrary schedules for random but required tasks.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent idea. I suggest treats for every arbitrary task accomplished, e.g., one cupcake for every dish stacked/blog read, etc.

March 3, 2009 at 11:32 AM  
Blogger LPC said...

Concur. However, that will of course lead to a whole new list of arbitrary tasks involving expending personal BTUs. Well, since I believe you like pandas, here you go. http://www.flickr.com/photos/evertheoptimist/257934476/. Can I say that searching for toy panda bears photos on Flickr is a terrifying experience?

March 4, 2009 at 9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm afraid to say there are entire generations of WASP's where either they were of the leisure class or their wives were at the very least. Only a boring person is ever bored and you don't seem to be such a person.

February 20, 2010 at 3:44 PM  

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