Sunday, April 12, 2009

Cozies Redeemed. Barely.

I have trouble with cozies, crocheted and knitted covers for things that have no need of warmth. I saw this here. I felt my blood pressure rise. Have they no mercy? I am haunted by visions of my future as an increasingly angry old woman, muttering bitterly to herself amidst peeling paint on the front porch, cursing all signs of knitting needles and crochet hooks.



Luckily for mankind the possibility of redemption is always with us. Even cozies can be saved by humor and art, our great redeeming capabilities. Along with kindness and forgiveness. (Oh yeah, and lactation.) Things can always get better. So it came to pass. First she saw these,


And said this, "So the title is apt 'An Ode To Cher' or should this be 'An ode To Chers Bewbage'???" Aha. Cozied earrings look like Cher's boobs. There is hope yet.

That's not all said the Ginzo knives salesman. The real saviours are here. Wrapping, cozying, shrouding, all have had their apogee. You may already be nodding your head, yes, yes. Uhuh. Christo. Jeanne-Claude. The Reichstag. Yeah. That.

Which turned into this.


Not a crochet hook in sight. Nothing twee, nothing fey. Maybe an approximation of cozying history.

Happy Easter. Happy Passover. Here's to forgiveness, kindness, redemption. And I guess to Cher's boobs, if anyone's in the mood.

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12 Comments:

Blogger Muffy said...

HAHAHA! Hilarious post. Happy day to you as well.

xoxo,
Muffy

April 12, 2009 at 11:12 AM  
OpenID midlifeslices said...

ROFL.....a great post and an even better laugh.

April 12, 2009 at 4:04 PM  
Blogger Beadsme said...

Great post and thanks for featuring by boob earrings.

April 12, 2009 at 4:30 PM  
Blogger JuliaA said...

i am a knitter and crocheter and i think a lot of the shit ppl make is an insult to those crafts. including, yes, the knitted trees and stuff.

there's so many gorgeous things you can do with yarn to make fabric. and there are so many things done that are totally embarrassing and wrong.

though penis cozies are amusing.

April 12, 2009 at 4:49 PM  
Blogger GrandmaMarilyns said...

great post.

April 12, 2009 at 10:01 PM  
Blogger Sal said...

I just adore the guerilla crocheting - it boggles my mind that folks could conceive of a project so big. And wacky.

April 13, 2009 at 9:32 AM  
Blogger thepreppyprincess said...

This is priceless Miss Privilege, absolutely riotous! Thank you for making us laugh, we needed it.

Grins & giggles for the week ahead,
tp

April 13, 2009 at 4:10 PM  
Anonymous P. said...

It's like the Middle East - there is a cozy for everything: televisions, radiators, toilet seats, kleenex boxes. There are doilies everywhere. If something has a cozy, you know it's an item of great importance.

I'm all for Cher's boobies. It's her bottom I worry about.

April 13, 2009 at 5:38 PM  
Blogger LPC said...

Maybe someone should cozy her bottom? Now that Bob Mackie has passed on, no one is picking up the slack. Literal or virtual. Someone could make that a guerilla crocheting project?

April 13, 2009 at 6:56 PM  
Blogger Twenty Four At Heart said...

The earrings cracked me up! : )

April 13, 2009 at 10:34 PM  
Blogger darsden said...

OMG that is somebody who has way too much time on her hands.. via Pearl here

July 31, 2009 at 10:41 AM  
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September 23, 2009 at 5:19 AM  

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