Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Secret Nefarious Villains

As I said, the next morning all my pond plants had fallen over. Again. And this time I noticed that my lovely floating water hyacinths were gone. Vanished. Remember that beauteous purple-leafed plant? Only shreds left by the side of the pond. Alas.


I googled "Raccoons Ate My Water Hyacinths." Indeed, they did. And climbed over everything else on their way to the water hyacinth feast. This explains the fallen plants. And some recent midnight howling.

I haven't given up. Now it's a long battle between me and them. Today I put all the plants in the middle of the pond. Thinking those little bandit-faced suckers won't be able to reach. I'm relentless, I tell you, relentless.

If I fail, look for more posts on what shoes to wear with navy blue. Or tartan. Wait, what shoes DO you wear with tartan? Hmmm. Good question, even if I succeed with the raccoons. Adding to your identity should mean more "That." Not no more "This." Have a lovely weekend.



Blogger Plus Size Bride said...

go and buy the hottest peppers you can them all up in the blender, strain, put in a spray bottle with a few drops of dish soap (my friend gives it a good squirt for a full bottle)and spray it on everything you want them to leave alone.

August 21, 2009 at 7:35 AM  
Anonymous Jan said...

Rotten raccoons. I, myself, and fighting the Evil Fluffy Bunnies.

August 21, 2009 at 8:13 AM  
Blogger JMW said...

SO sorry the raccoons got to your flowers. Good luck in your battle! Looking forward to the navy/tartan debate. What shoes do you wear?

August 21, 2009 at 8:36 AM  
Blogger Buckeroomama said...

I wish you luck in your battle with the bandits.

August 21, 2009 at 9:11 AM  
Blogger materfamilias said...

I wish you luck, but if I had to place money, it would probably be on the raccoons. We've been fortunate, so far, with our pond -- only the kingfisher manages to catch an occasional goldfish, although the garter snakes that jam up the pump must also be fishing. Our old Golden Retriever kept the raccoons away and her scent must still linger posthumously, but any day now they will realize it's open season . . . So far, they only steal the catfood from the front porch (the dog was always in the fenced back yard and raccoons have possibilities calibrated very precisely) and reluctantly conceded that they can no longer reach the bird feeder after my husband moved it for the third time -- eventually, their engineers will come up with something and the bird feeder will be theirs as well.
Just be sure to show no signs of weakness and I wish you all the best.
But I probably won't be betting on you.

August 21, 2009 at 10:10 AM  
Blogger Sher said...

You know what else raccoons go after? the fish in the pond too.

Try to get one of those have-a-heart traps (cage). That will catch them. As for what you do after you catch one....

August 21, 2009 at 10:25 AM  
Blogger Muffy said...

I wear brown loafers with my tartan!

I hope you beat those raccoons!!!!

August 21, 2009 at 11:37 AM  
Blogger Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Do not accept defeat.
My money's on you.
That pond is too pretty to give to those "mo-fo's," (as my kids would say).
Go get em!

August 21, 2009 at 12:30 PM  
Blogger indigo said...

perhaps i could interest you in a strategically placed hedgehog? we could fed-ex you one. i find they are useful in many garden pest stand-offs. they eat slugs, sing joan baez songs to foxes, and reason with lairy raccoons. fact.

not really. sorry.

August 21, 2009 at 2:58 PM  
Blogger Deja Pseu said...

Those wiley critters! Any ideas for a battle strategy?

August 21, 2009 at 4:13 PM  
Anonymous midlife slices said...

We have coons too but about the only thing you can do is catch them in a "live trap" and deport them to another location. They won't drown. They like water ya know.

August 21, 2009 at 4:28 PM  
Blogger class-factotum said...

Get a gun.


The only good raccoon/squirrel/rabbit is a dead one.

Unfortunately, it is ILLEGAL to shoot squirrels in Milwaukee. It is illegal to do anything worthwhile here.

August 21, 2009 at 8:14 PM  
Blogger Julia Remix said...

Ugh, how frustrating. Maybe your neighbors will have some ideas, since presumably they are dealing with the same thing?

August 22, 2009 at 7:28 AM  
Blogger LPC said...

I'm going to take these peppers and loafers and guns and hedgehogs and traps, these virtual weapons, as well as mater's very blunt assessment and do what most idealists do. Fight on...I may also ask my neighbors. Less effort:)

August 22, 2009 at 8:18 AM  
Blogger Someone said...

This post made my brain conjure a taxidermified raccoon...wearing tartan, and little black ghillies with white kilt hose.

August 22, 2009 at 8:25 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

I figured it was raccoons.

No Tartan!! Ever! This coming from a woman who attended Catholic school from kindergarten thru college.

August 22, 2009 at 9:06 AM  
Blogger LPC said...

Iyee! Raccoons in ghillies! As bad as the sound of their howls in the night!

August 22, 2009 at 9:52 AM  
Blogger Little Bow Prep said...

Oh dear!

I do hope your weekend is better!

August 22, 2009 at 11:01 AM  

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