How To Get "Tunic" Arms
However, many of you also expressed concern over revealing your arms. I believe I have found a solution.
And, now that you have had a moment to reconstitute yourself from the puddle of laughter into which I threw you, so unceremoniously, let me confirm. Yes. That is a ShakeWeight.
Celebrated on infomercials, so beloved by Ellen DeGeneres that she has made it a recurrent meme on her afternoon television show, and rife with opportunity for bawdy jokes.
The ShakeWeight. And I bought one. And I use it. And I think it actually works.
Anticipating your next question, no. No, High WASPs do not generally recommend the acquisition of infomercial goods. But Sturdy Gals, known in their youth for sufficient strength to carry tables, celebrated for their biceps, and now mourning the loss of said musculature, are granted dispensation. We take Queen Victoria as our model, muster up our inner Grande Dame, and say under our collective breath, "We will if we want to."
Good triceps take one a long way down the quiet halls of aging. Do not go gently. ShakeWeight.
No compensation was received for this post. I thought about trying to make the links to Amazon the kind that give me $0.12 every time they are used, but I used up any brash I've got posting the link to SNL.