Saturday Morning at 9:56am
Tomorrow is Mother's Day. This is the first time both kids are gone. That's OK. Not a sad thing, really. I am wondering what they might send me. Last year my highly competent daughter mobilized for flowers. This year she's getting ready to graduate from college. Lot on her mind. And my son is still suffering from the testosterone poisoning that causes all teenage boys to disappear into a hormonal haze where they remain mute and bemused until one day when you least expect it they emerge as a man, tall, kind, and ready to take care of a family. At least, that's the story I tell myself.
I am wondering what they might send me.
If I am honest, what I would really like is a parade. Or a surprise party. A huge surprise party with balloons and streamers and confetti and noise. With a towering cake that says "To The Best Mother In The World Whom We Love With All Our Hearts." Toasts that bring tears to your eyes. Maybe a song written especially for the occasion.
On the other hand, what would happen after that party? It's not like a major birthday or anniversary. You aren't marking a stage in time. You are their mother from the moment they are conceived until the day you die. And then you are still their mother and you live on in their memories every time they say to their children, "My mother used to..." It's not like you are more their mother after 21 years than after 21 seconds. I'm not sure you get any better at it over time either. You can only be as a good of a mother as you are a person. And getting better as a person is pretty rough.
Most likely the motherhood parties are in fact your kids' celebrations. Their weddings. Their graduations. And everyone looks at your kid and claps and makes toasts. And you sit in the back and from the way you feel they could just as well be clapping for you.
However I am not completely self-sacrificial. Come Mother's Day, I can make do without the parade. But I'd like some flowers or a massage gift card. Or something. You know, deep love, meaning of life, opening of the universe and all, being a mother is still a lot of work. Which reminds me. Please go get your mom a present. Even if it's little. Unless you are up for throwing a parade this year. In which case please go find a brass band right away before they are all booked up.
I am wondering what they might send me.
If I am honest, what I would really like is a parade. Or a surprise party. A huge surprise party with balloons and streamers and confetti and noise. With a towering cake that says "To The Best Mother In The World Whom We Love With All Our Hearts." Toasts that bring tears to your eyes. Maybe a song written especially for the occasion.
On the other hand, what would happen after that party? It's not like a major birthday or anniversary. You aren't marking a stage in time. You are their mother from the moment they are conceived until the day you die. And then you are still their mother and you live on in their memories every time they say to their children, "My mother used to..." It's not like you are more their mother after 21 years than after 21 seconds. I'm not sure you get any better at it over time either. You can only be as a good of a mother as you are a person. And getting better as a person is pretty rough.
Most likely the motherhood parties are in fact your kids' celebrations. Their weddings. Their graduations. And everyone looks at your kid and claps and makes toasts. And you sit in the back and from the way you feel they could just as well be clapping for you.
However I am not completely self-sacrificial. Come Mother's Day, I can make do without the parade. But I'd like some flowers or a massage gift card. Or something. You know, deep love, meaning of life, opening of the universe and all, being a mother is still a lot of work. Which reminds me. Please go get your mom a present. Even if it's little. Unless you are up for throwing a parade this year. In which case please go find a brass band right away before they are all booked up.
Labels: motherhood
posted by LPC at
9:56 AM
11 Comments:
Happy Mother's Day to you to you. Happy Mother's Day to YOU.
Happy Mother's Day to you!
Mother's Day always falls smack dab in the middle of finals which, for the last 6 years of my life, has been horribly inconvenient and stressful. Major props to your daughter for arranging the flowers, especially long distance.
P.S. We're still waiting for my brother to emerge.
Happy Mother's Day and I hope you get that parade.
Me, I'll skip the parades and balloons and prefer a card with a heartfelt message. :)
"Most likely the motherhood parties are in fact your kids' celebrations... everyone looks at your kid and claps and makes toasts. And you sit in the back and from the way you feel they could just as well be clapping for you."
Always, always such wisdom.
Happy Mother's Day. :)
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You know, I couldn't agree with you more. Did you know that the brain isn't fully developed until after age 25?? That certainly explains a lot. I have one son that is 26 and one that is 21. I keep counting the days until the 21 year old is 25... LOL Happy Mother's Day to you. And I think that it's actually completely ridiculous to celebrate a person's birthday. THAT is the day that a party should be thrown for the mothers....after all, we did all the work. :)
Thank you everyone and Happy Mother's Day to you too.
happy mother's day! and coming from a mom with two very small children it's always a blessing to hear honesty such as yours. a parade, yes, but a wedding would suffice...right? :)
You would be so proud: I presented my mother with a GIGANTIC (rather garish and outlandish) JUMBO Mothers Day card. HAHA! She was pleased. I was happy she was pleased. Now: SHOE SHOPPING! What better way to bond?
Happy Mother's Day to you! I blew it on the card for my mom but just spent two hours composing a blog post. Hope that will suffice?
It's 2009. Things changes. Parades go out of style. Jumbo cards, shoe shopping, blog posts, my guess is that those count big. Of course I'm assuming the blog post said "mom you are the best mom in the whole world..." Thanks again for the good wishes everyone.
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