Thursday, June 25, 2009

What To Do Now Because Doing It At 50 Will Be Hard

  1. Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. Stand up. Silently. Don’t say "Ugh!" or "Umph." or "Oh..."
  2. Hurry. Walk fast and talk at the same time.
  3. Cook three courses while drinking a glass of wine.
  4. Decide that grad school was a bad idea.
  5. Ask someone a question. Remember the answer 10 minutes later.

*Or sing Thriller one last time, fall in love, bare your soul. If you were Michael Jackson. R.I.P.

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Anonymous Jan said...

ROFLMAO - none of these are exactly a walk in the park at 46, either. I love this post so much I just subscribed to your blog.

June 25, 2009 at 3:28 PM  
Blogger LPC said...

Jan, so great to see you here. Thanks.

June 25, 2009 at 4:27 PM  
Anonymous One Barefoot Bride said...

eek! you mean yoga won't keep us young forever?!??!

June 25, 2009 at 5:04 PM  
Blogger The Mrs. said...

poor Mj....I can't cook a three course meal at all and I'm 39!

June 25, 2009 at 5:14 PM  
Blogger maureen said...

My daughter and I went out to lunch to celebrate her last day of 9th grade. They played "Billy Jean" and "Beat It," and I took a trip down memory lane.

I can probably cook 3 courses if I stick to one glass of wine. But remembering the answer to a question 10 minutes later is a tough one.

June 25, 2009 at 6:03 PM  
Blogger LPC said...

Yoga will help. Don't want to crush your dreams:). Three courses isn't actually that tough. Salad counts. Pasta counts:).

June 25, 2009 at 7:19 PM  
Blogger Hannah said...

Greatest memory of living in England: cooking weekly three course meals with my best friends, consuming a bottle of wine each. As for falling in love, it's harder now than it was at twenty, harder then than it was at sixteen, harder then than it was at fourteen. I fear for my thirties.

June 25, 2009 at 7:35 PM  
Anonymous midlife slices said...

Does this mean you just had a birthday? If so, then Happy Birthday......and if not, then save that for whenever the big day arrives. :)

Yes, 50 is the turning point and lots of things get harder and harder......except the things you wish would get your muscles. *sigh*

June 25, 2009 at 10:03 PM  
Blogger Buckeroomama said...

I'm very good at #2... even long before they started doing it on The West Wing.

June 25, 2009 at 10:05 PM  
Blogger class-factotum said...

How about these?

Wear a hat and sunblock now (ie, before 50) if you don't want your face to look like leather when you are 50.

Take the stairs whenever you can. It's easier to keep a firm tushie than to get one.

June 26, 2009 at 6:08 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

moon walk.

June 26, 2009 at 8:58 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

This is hilarious. I'm 41:
1. My husband drives a sportscar and I grunt everytime I try to get out of it. He's asked me not to do it in front of anyone else because I sound like a truck driver!
3. I've learned that my cooking skills fly out the window when any alcohol is consumed.
4. I'm never taking another test EVER again. That's why I haven't taken the NCIDQ.
5.I've told ALL not tell me anything you want me to remember tomorrow if I've been drinking. I got a message from a friend yesterday saying, "Ok, Jill, we have an appt. for 2 at 2:00 tomorrow"...WTF...I had no clue what she was referring too. It turns out I told her the night before at a wine dinner that I would love to join her for a green tea foot massage! I hate foot massages!

June 26, 2009 at 9:20 AM  
Blogger LPC said...

Maybe add moon walk, on one moon or another, for all of us. I wonder, do we have to wear sunscreen on the moon? And can we bring wine?

June 26, 2009 at 9:32 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Do what we do in Louisiana. Have all the calories in the first course, & save yourself some trouble! Geaux fried potatoes!

June 26, 2009 at 11:03 AM  
Blogger Ten Thousand Only said...

re: #5.
i'm in trouble.

July 5, 2009 at 2:53 PM  
Blogger LPC said...

Ten Thousand. Hehe. You just got married. With any luck, your memory will return before babies deal it the death blow...

July 5, 2009 at 5:08 PM  

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