The 3rd Rule Of China Place Settings

Large Bowl - Swedish Royal Wedding Series

"Wait!" you might protest, "Wait! What happened to Rules 1 and 2? Is there a Rule Number 4?"

Never fear. Other rules exist. But they require research, time, thought. And some days you just want the frivolous cream, the cotton candy, the butter of life.

Rule #3: There is room in your cupboard for a silly set of something. If it matches, well enough. Or contrasts, well enough, to whatever else you use. If it comes with memories, or sentiment, or humor, all the better.

Extra points for crowns. Or ironic symbol of your choice.

images
me

At "Hostess of the Humble Bungalow" Today, Remodeling California Ranch Houses

Today I am at the Hostess of the Humble Bungalow. She has a beautiful, historic bungalow in the Arts and Crafts style. I have opinions about remodeling in my neighborhood. And so are matches made. Please come visit. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your time.

A Master Craftsman's Secrets For Buying, Maintaining, and Fixing Your Silver

Grande Dame Silver

The winter holidays loom. Along with dreams of pumpkins, ghosts, turkeys, pies, Christmas lights, and menorah, come thoughts of polishing silver. Silver is surrounded by myths and misconceptions, like many luxury goods. All the better for exclusivity beyond cost alone. But there are people who know why not to put silver into dishwashers, and what you pay for when you buy sterling instead of silverplate. Recently, I interviewed Martin Biro, silversmith, of Biro & Sons. This family has been in silver for decades. I was happy to hear what Martin had to say.

What To Know Before Buying Silver

LPC: Let's start with how to buy good silver. What should people look for?

Martin: First you have to determine whether to go with sterling or plated. There are pluses and minuses to both. Sterling is obviously more expensive, but sterling in this country has to be marked, and if it's marked you always get 95% silver.

There are now very good quality silver plated sets out there. *Laughs* I have silverplate at home, even though my wife is not too happy about it. You can get a good deal. But you have to watch out. You need a good quality base metal, ideally nickel silver (which is rare nowadays), or brass. The less expensive plates use stainless steel. Silver is soft, steel is hard, so the combo is not effective for long term wearability.

It's very hard to tell good silverplate from sterling. We've been fooled, once or twice, until we looked for the mark.

Biro & Sons workbench

LPC: Are there any brands you recommend?

Martin: One thing that you have to remember is that there's not much manufacturing left in the USA. Few silver sets, even those with an American name such as Wallace, Reed and Barton, Gorham, or Towle (pronounced Toll), are made here any more. You are often buying an import from an American company. Tiffany may still be made in America, although they probably have stuff manufactured all over the world too.

When you go to buy flatware, first, and most important, hold it in your hand. Is it going to be pleasurable to use? Buccellati and Cristofle, for example, make silverware in the European style. It's a heavy, large utensil. In the American style, forks and spoons are smaller, more delicate and lighter.

With sterling, it is what it is, only thing to decide is do you like it? Considering metal prices, it's not going to be cheap. There were great prices 2-3 years ago, 8-$12/oz. Now silver is at $20/oz. The quality of flatware has to be gauged by the price. You can get sometimes get sterling on sale at Macy's for as low as about $179.00 a place setting.

For silverplate, any reputable silver maker is going to be good. You will pay $200/setting for the good stuff vs. $18 for junk. Some manufacturers use poor quality stainless, and put silver on in thin quantities. Other companies, like Cristofle, pride themselves on heavy plating. A good heavy coating is anywhere between 8 and 12 microns.

Myself, I kind of like a modern style of the 30's and 40's. A lot of people like the more baroque, more ornate stuff, You can mix and match.

Biro & Sons workbench

The Secret of Used Silver

LPC: What about used silver? My mother bought me a mixed and matched 10-piece set from the London Silver Vaults when I got married. (I was a little disappointed not to get a set like her Tiffany pattern. I was young. And foolish, with no sense of the value of money. I'm over it.)

Martin: Absolutely you can get good deals on used silver. The way the economy is I have had people call and ask, "Can I sell it?" With the value of sterling going up, some people are willing to sell for the weight of the sterling alone.

It has to be marked sterling, and you have to look at the condition. If it's not in excellent condition, you are going to have to bring it to somebody like me, and pay $5-$18 to restore it, each piece. For a used set, you also want to make sure it's heavy. The older the silver, the heavier it will be. Silver makers have ways they have cheated over time, using less metal. If you look at patterns made in 1940, and still made today, the new version will be lighter. When they cast it, they hollow the handle out on the back.

Silver is being bought and sold on eBay, by those who are savvy about it. Otherwise, go to a local auction house, such as Butterfield's here in Northern California. or go to Replacements online. They have a large flatware exchange.

With silver, to get a good deal it's very important to buy a complete set. No matter what the quality, if you don't have the complete set, you don't have the full value. Say you pay $1000 for a set missing 2 forks, you might then have to pay $100 per solo fork. You want to be counting your pieces and make sure you have the correct round number. 6 place settings is bare minimum for a set, ideally 12.

The Keys To Maintaining Silver And The Evils Of Dishwashers

LPC: How should people store their silver? Do those cases and bags really make a difference?

Martin: Traditionally people have silver boxes, that contain the pieces in an airtight environment, not exposed to temperature or moisture. There's nothing worse for silver than sitting in the living room with the air conditioner one day and the heater the next. When silver gets moist, sulfur causes oxidation.

You can store individual pieces in treated flannel bags to help them resist developing sulfur. Even with the bags, to keep silver shiny and happy, put it in a drawer or a cabinet in an environment that doesn't change.

LPC: I was just thinking the other day, it's time to polish my silver. I actually like to the task, as long as the polish isn't toxic and harsh. How should we be cleaning our silver?

Martin: Some people insist on using silver every day and throwing it into the dishwasher. Soaps in most dishwashing detergents have alkali, in order to dissolve food. You get a chemical reaction and the ingredients will etch silver. Takes the shine off. I don't recommend it, I encourage my clients to hand wash.

LPC: *raises hand* Yes, I confess, I throw everything in the dishwasher.

Martin: *shakes head* The main thing to do when you are dealing with silver polish is to read the directions, if it says wash immediately with water, you are washing away some kind of acid chemical that cleans by attacking. If you can just dip it in and you are all set, the dip has to be pretty strong.

On the other hand, when you use something that you have to rub, you can be more comfortable there's nothing really harmful in there. You have waxes, cleaners, a little bit of an abrasive, but it doesn't harm the silver. The fact that you have to rub it, makes it shine. Like car waxes. Nothing's going to kill you. People are always looking for the easy way out, and it's not always the best.

We have carried Pine-Ola for 40 years. A good old-fashioned polish.

Sturdy Gal Silver

What To Remember About Silver Repair

LPC: You repaired a piece for me, an old polo trophy. I was very happy with the work. The base had fallen off, and it was dented.

Martin: We can repair pretty much anything. Even flatware that's gone down the garbage disposal. Sometimes people are helping in the kitchen, a fork goes down the disposal, and you hear that crunch crunch crunch. Repairing is usually less expensive than replacing your flatware. Buying one fork in a certain pattern can get pricy, and sometimes we check for clients to find replacements and they are just not available. If you have a flatware set and one of the pieces gets damaged, don't throw it away, keep it. Preserve your complete set.

The cost of repairs is based on labor. Mostly we file, hammer reshape, solder, and then repolish. You will spend from about $25 up to $100/piece on flatware repairs.

Some families in bring their silverware in for us to polish them once a year. On a 12-place set, depending on what I do, they can spend anywhere from $200 up to about $8-900.

Artsy Cousin Silver

The Enduring Tradition of Silver Sets

LPC: Martin, anything you'd like to tell us that I forgot to ask?

Martin: I can tell you that there is still a tradition of handing down silver in families. People's lifestyle, they don't entertain grandly any more, young people don't have those big dinner parties in today's world. But there has always been an interest in handing down silver sets, Aunt Ethel presents her grandchild, or a niece, with the set when they get married.

1/3 of our work is people bringing in sets to hand down. A lot of it is monogrammed. Monograms can be removed and new ones put on, but people usually keep the original because it's a keepsake. When you are selling silverware, you don't want a monogram, sterling sets with monograms have less value. But the monogram makes it a keepsake.

Silverware Confessions of a High WASP

Do I follow Mr. Biro's sage advice? Well, yes and no.

• No. I can't bring myself to buy silverplate, preferring that substances assume their identities with impunity. So I go sterling, or stainless.
• No. I throw my silver in the dishwasher because it's all I have to eat with.
• Yes. I polish with the old-fashioned stuff. Largely because I failed the harsh chemical smells section of the Sturdy Gal test. I like Twinkle.
  
• Yes. I derive enormous satisfaction from bringing an old, tarnished, dented piece back to its former glory through repair.
• Completely Off Track. Despite my usual preference for the simple and streamlined, I have a secret weakness for the ornate, delicate tracings of Kirk's Old Maryland.
  

Happy polished silver and sparkling tables to all.

Martin, 56, and his brother, Rick, 48, run Biro & Sons with their father, Alex. They have all been in the silversmithing trade for decades. Alex learned originally, in his native Hungary, from his uncle. Emigrating in 1956, when Russians violently suppressed the Hungarian uprising, he moved to the Netherlands, to Canada, and finally to the USA. Biro & Sons has been in its location in San Francisco since 1976. Biro & Sons recently performed the engraving on Oracle's America's Cup. You can find more of their story here. You can find Martin, his family, and world-class traditional silver repair, at Biro & Sons, 1160 Folsom Street, San Francisco.

Images: me, my silverware, and the steampunk style workbench of old world craftsmen
No compensation of any sort has been received for anything here.
First posted on The Daily Brainstorm.

How To Make A Delicious Girly Martini

Have you ever noticed how much testosterone surrounds the making of dry martinis? Why? James Bond? A man is made a man by slugging gin almost straight? Here's the High WASP way. If you like gin, just drink it. We say, "I'll have my gin now." We don't pretend to be doing anything else.

I myself love a good martini. But I like it good and wet. Girly, if you will. I spent enough years in sales to feel quite comfortable with my testosterone levels, thank you very much.

Here's the thing. Girly martinis are much better for entertaining than the Sean Connery variety. We decorate our martinis - and drink decor makes a great conversation starter. Additional vermouth means lower alcohol content, which means the conversation can, in fact, continue.

How do you make a girly martini? First, you need whimsical toothpicks. If you think this makes your martini into a Cosmo I can't help you. I got my toothpicks from our very own Muffy Martini's Etsy shop, Beachy Baubles.

Voila.


Then you need olives. Anything called Santa Barbara is my friend.


I like to spear 3 and chomp them as I drink. If you think this makes your martini into dinner I can't help you.

As far as chilling, stirring, and the other martini athleticism? Keep the gin and vermouth in your fridge,


and freezer.


TO make a girly martini, pour gin into your glass. Tuxedo jacket optional. Junipero tastes like berries. And yes, OK, they're juniper, but a berry is a berry. Add some vermouth. I like at least a tablespoon. Then I wave toothpicked olives through the mixture. It's good enough. At my age I've learned to cherish good enough. It's another friend.


Voila.

Estrogen-dependent perhaps, but delicious. And how cute is that little shell, peeping out of its chilled cocktail bath? I know it's only Monday. Let's say this is something to look forward to.

Images:
Me. Glass from Riedel.
Toothpicks from Beachy Baubles.
No compensation anywhere to be found.
No alcohol was consumed in the production of this post. I did eat the missing olive.

Ten Signs You May Have A High WASP Guest Room

Sign #1. You furnish your guest room in a patriotic color scheme. Especially when you live by the sea. Red, white, and blue are so nautical. Invest in matching bedding and some throw pillows as an inexpensive way to make everything look like it's there on purpose.


Sign #2. You purchase your guest room furniture from some place reputable, but you avoid family antiques and other treasures. Your guests would feel terrible if they broke something you care about. You would never want guests to feel badly. That's the whole point of hospitality.

Sign #3. You stock up on bathroom sundries. For some reason, everyone forgets razors and they are embarrassing to ask for. The disposable ones are perfect.


Sign #4. Your guest room has enough space for a guest kitchen. Yeah, I know. It's small. Only room for early morning breakfasts, when your guests don't want to bumble around in your kitchen looking for tea, or eggs, or orange juice. Or late night snacks. Personal eating.


Sign #5. You absolutely have to hang a framed etching of seashells. All scientific-like. The frame matches your bedspreads. A dark red for timeless style.

Sign #6. You have a sleeping loft and ladder. This is optional, but makes for very happy grandchildren. Their parents, i.e. your children, may have falling out anxiety at first. They'll get over it. Sleeping lofts add flexibility come Christmas, when, not unsurprisingly, all your children AND your stepchildren AND their families will want to come down for a few nights.

Sign #7. Your guest room has a guest deck. Used for the playing of board games. Sometimes your daughter will have to take your grandchildren out of the main house and quiet them down. You want to enable her. If her children don't quiet down after the playing of board games, she will need to send her husband to jump into the swimming pool with said children, while she sits and contemplates a glass of wine. Alone. Aren't extended families wonderful?

Sign #8. Your guest room has outside stairs. Covered in vines. You hide that pesky ping pong table and grill underneath. You have a ping pong table to begin with. Also a croquet set. FAmly tournaments are a tradition, but someone usually cries. Fortunately that someone is mostly under 8 years old.

Sign #9. The view from the guest room deck requires an iPhone app called "Autostitch" to capture what they call a "Panorama." Because it is, in fact, a panorama. Click on the photo for a fuller effect.

Sign #10. You understand how privileged you are to have this much space in a beautiful spot, so you share. Your children are always welcome. Your grandchildren and their multitude of friends are always welcome. Even as teenagers. That's saying something. You house visiting musicians and singers for the local symphony. Sometimes for months at a time. You are a generous soul, and your daughter thanks you in a somewhat complex manner. Because she still hasn't learned that a simple thank you will suffice.



Images of my mother's house by me, my Panasonic Lumix, and my iPhone

Do You Know What Makes A Good Vacation Souvenir?

I have no souvenirs of my trip to Sweden. At least nothing purchased.

I brought home photos, of course. It would have been hard not to, surrounded by such sights. Here's a last one. The inlet, where my stepfamily docks their boats.

The lack of goods isn't completely my fault, or my virtue for that matter. There aren't many stores on Ingmarso. However, when we visited Sandhamn I did buy a shirt for my daughter. Her birthday's coming up. It's white, tunic-style, with a criss-cross tie. I gave it to her while we were there.

I thought about this shirt too,

given the label.

Some things follow you all your life. No matter where you go. I hadn't known Scandinavian Preppy was crying out for definition, but travel will broaden the mind.

Another possibility on Sandhamn.

But having brought dishtowels home from France, enough, it seemed, was enough in the way of pieces of cloth with which to mop my pots.

On my way home, I spotted this gentleman in Chicago. He had gotten off the flight from Stockholm too. He wore natty, orange napkin clips from SAS business class on his sky blue Lacoste lapel. I told him he looked great. Clips would have been good souvenirs.

There is something else I am coveting, however, as a post-trip souvenir. Remember how Sweden just had a royal wedding? And you know what the Europeans do when they have a royal wedding? They go all capitalist. Leading to fabulous items de decor. That's fancy French for stuff.

Witness the Royal Collection. These are table runners.

But I want the Royal Collection porcelain bowls. My Swedish stepsister gave mugs in this pattern to my daughter and I started wringing my hands and thinking, "My Preciousssssssss," immediately. They are so smooth. The pale blue is so pale. My china is white, or white and gold. Of course, I'd have to hide the pink and gold Murano doves that sit on my dining table or risk perpetual Easter egg as a home decor theme, but The Princess needs my support. She told me so.

What souvenirs do you like to bring home? And what are your feelings about royal wedding china? Do you have any feelings about royal wedding china? I had a friend who collected Coronation mugs. The British and their inimitable sense of humor. I just can't figure out if I want these bowls - because I like them - or whether once they were in my house I'd say to myself, "Really? Crowns?"

But good souvenirs are exempt from the usual strictures.

Images: Mostly me, except,
Scandinavian Designs Table Runners
Scandinavian Designs Bowls

What Everybody Ought To Know About Swedish Home Style

To some, Swedish home style means something like these below. Seats? I'm not sure.

The Grandes Dames among us might dream more grandly. Maybe of Swedish gilt.

In fact, as lived, Swedish home design is above all endearing. Made for smiling. Some things are fuzzy, some anthropomorphic. White for dark winters, and color for long summers - woven, or bended, or carved. But little seems to be made without thought, or placed without care.

The Swedish interiors I have experienced are places of comfort. Where each detail warms your heart. Sort of like one long wedding, of family to itself. Even in summer, when the interior is, well, outside.

This is my stepfamily's house on Ingmarso, in the Stockholm Archipelago, taken early one morning as everyone else lay sleeping.

Being infinitely wise about people living in close quarters, they have also built an attached little house, known as, The Little House.

My stepfather acquired this land almost 50 years ago. Recently his daughter remodeled the main kitchen, beautifully. The counters, I believe, are teak, the cabinets stainless steel, all from Ikea. This should surprise no one.

When you wake up early, pull open a drawer and find pastry from the local bakery. The plastic bag closes with a miniature clothes pin, decorated with what appears to be a sailing flag. I want 65, please, since I'm sure I would lose many and feel sad if I could not return immediately to Sweden for replacements.

As you can see, the kitchen is now part of the living room. And, other than four small bedrooms and one bathroom, that's it for the main house. Can you see the red-painted wood chairs? My favorites.

There's little need for space in vacation cottages. You live outside. You shower outside. You eat outside.

The first night, we had salmon, salad, and potatoes. This should surprise no one. Potatoes are to Swedes as snow, mythically, is said to be for the Inuit. They have even invented special potato-poking tools to assess doneness. Often decorated with a carved wooden moose head. See the printed napkin on the right? Blue, white, gold, and paper. Oh boy.

Warmth, humor, and detail carry out past the home and into restaurants. One day we all got into a large boat, owned by my stepsister's colleague, and went to Sandhamn. Another island. One with a delicious restaurant. Where they serve chilled water in glass bottles decorated with a rope braid collar. My sister held the bottle and poured. Thanks, sister.

The napkin ornamentation was nice too. I love a monogram and chain stitch.

The kind restaurant owners had painted the ceiling a gorgeous cerulean blue, and mounted cobalt chandeliers for contrast. A gorgeousness overdose, really.

The brass hinge on the window next to my seat. They had me at cerulean, hinges were unnecessary.

What appears to be Libby's Corned Beef Hash, below, is in fact a dish called Pytt i Panna. Cubes of beef, ham, potato, onion and beets. While my tongue craved a crayfish stew, Pytt i Panna is what my stepfather wanted me to cook when he first got out of the hospital so I felt that fate was saying this needed to be my lunch. It was pretty good. Jamie Oliver agrees with me.

Even the most casual of places cater to aesthetic sensibilities. Later in the week we ate at the Ingmarso harbor cafe. This place used to be called something like Armadillo Willy's but came to its senses for the most part and reverted to cultural roots. Except the nachos but we will gloss over those quickly. A blue metal pail full of utensils and napkins. Sigh.

To say nothing of something called Planka, meaning "board." An aquavit and sealife taster. For my brothers-in-law.

I had beer and fried Baltic herring, or strumming. I can't eat pickled herrings, no matter how they pickle those poor critters, but fried in batter and nestled into some mashed potatoes and melted butter? Oh boy. Oh boy.

Finally, the stairs leading from the inlet dock up to the house. Whether the builder knew that the top landing would make a perfect place to sit, mug in hand, and watch the sun play on the water, I do not know. In a Swedish summer, home style includes skylight. And I love the way unfinished wood smells when it gets warm. Especially when it's old enough that you don't have to worry about splinters.

I can't forget my manners. The only Swedish word I know is thank you, but it's the most important here. "Tack," Swedish family, "Tack sa mycket."

Images:
Bended thingies from life is carbon, all about Scandinavian design
Mirrors from Cupboards & Roses, specializing in Swedish antiques
All others by me

Note: The scenery is yet to come. I haven't forgotten that all these home goods sat in the middle of the sky on some water.

How To Plant A Cottage Garden That Feels Bigger Than It Is

I have a little cottage garden. A little cottage garden surrounding a little ranch house built when Silicon Valley was still a twinkle in Fairchild's eye. When the neighborhood was little. Which it is not any more. But I digress.

In Northern California coastal regions, a cottage garden hedges its bets by including drought-tolerant grasses amongst the hydrangea, and relying on Mediterranean flora for inspiration. A High WASP, fading family fortune to blame, may hedge some additional bets, relying on camera angles to suggest the grandeur of her childhood homes. But she will tell you in advance. You deserve that much.

So here's how to plant a cottage garden that feels bigger than it is.

Mix up your plants, unexpectedly
I'm fond of massing plants. Somewhat more structural than your archetypal cottage layout, but if there's no room for interpretation of the classics, where then is taste? Even if masses in a small garden mean 8 plants of one type, 6 of another, 12 of another - let them grow in organic shapes and entangled if they will. Here, the front yard in sun, the back yard in shade.

Lychnis, lavender, fleabane

Hydrangea, phormium, cotoneaster, myosotis, native California iris

Hide your fences, and your neighbors
You see that patch of brown above, through the greenery? That's my fence. On the other side of my fence are my neighbors. I do my best to pretend they aren't there. Gardeners with gas mowers and children in swimming pools thwart me on occasion, but I raise my chin and think of England.

Build paths, or suggest them
These paths may wend their way only around a raised bed, or through a shrub or two to the back fence. Which might be nearer in reality than you pretend. Again, front yard in sun, back yard in shade.

Lavender, lamb's ears, upright rosemary


Ferns, native Californian iris, bleeding heart, cotoneaster, hydrangea, bay laurel

Plant a cutting garden in its own bed, or pot if that's what you've got
My cutting garden followed the sun to my front yard. Luckily Northern California also supports gardening eccentrics with visible tomatoes. For cut flowers, I have one rosebush. And since I can see it out my kitchen window, for the most part I cut roses only in my imagination, preferring they live on outside rather than drop petals with a tiny thwap on my kitchen counter.

The rose. I do not know its name.


Cherry tomato plant, basil, cuban basil, marjoram, thyme, parsley, mint, more mint. Still more mint.

Write up a list of future projects
Things left undone, projects for the future, empty containers are all markers of hope. Anything unfinished is a vista, of sorts.

Finally, when in doubt, plant another rosebush. They are likely to light up for you, early in the morning. Which, although a cheap date sort of photo opportunity rife with easy sentiment, can lift a full heart in real life. I suggest we do not dismiss roses.

One Small Purchase In Paris

I did make one purchase in Paris. Two oven mitts and a dish towel. Or, as my best friend calls them, a tea towel. Her parents are British. Many terms linger.

That first night, as we wandered waiting for Les Mauvais Garcons to let us in, (never to be but nevermind), we stumbled upon an Olivier Des Forges store on Rue Rivoli.

We were lured by a knit linen throw. I know, doesn't it sound fabulous? All rough texture and nubbly bliss. But it cost something like 200 euros and the fading family fortune wasn't up for an expensive blanket.

The saleswoman pressed on, however, giving us an amazingly convincing spiel about how these tea towels were the best in the whole universe. For 8 euros we decided to suspend disbelief.

My friend bought the multi-colored version. I went with black and white. As it turned out, they were, of course, Swedish. Linum. Nobody does home goods like people from the Far North. I hypothesize that it's because they are inside so much of the year. Nothing like a pretty textile to keep you from clobbering your nearest and dearest.

Tea towels and oven mitts make good souvenirs. Why?

1. Cheap
2. Used often, thereby evincing many happy smiles of remembrance
3. Usually replace disgusting old tea towels and oven mitts, thus providing large bang for proverbial buck

I will spare you a photo of my old oven mitt. Let's just say it had served me well, and my kitchen environment is quite improved by the new ones. Three cheers for good salespeople, all around the world.

Linum doesn't appear to have its own e-commerce. Here's a site for various Scandinavian home goods.